Challenge of the day

I got asked today what I want to do with my life. For the first time in about 15 years, I had no answer to give. Nothing. Zero. Nada. Bugger all. Big blank space in my head. So thought I would ask the same question to those few of you that read this!


What do you want to do with your life?

Friday night blues

Friday night fights. Gotta love 'em. Like a hole in the head.

In this town, if I want culture, I get it from a pot of yoghurt. Hurrah.

Not very African...

My African Tale seems not very African at all. My life has taken on a kind of blur of meaning and what I hoped and planned to do here hasn't worked out in the extreme.

I pass through days wondering what an earth to do with myself - have had a couple of surf lessons here in the mecca of Southern African surfing and have managed to stand up a few times. However it hasn't taken away my fear of breaking waves (although think I may be improving slightly on that phobia-front) and it isn't exactly my life's dream to become a surfer chick (although shan't complain if it happens).

I cook for scores of people and the novelty of people eating my food has definitely worn off (also never had a dream to be a chef either), I have my own room yet all other spaces are communal - I am really not in the mood for dumb-arse questions from guests most of the time. I thought one day I might want to open my own backpackers but am now not sure I could cope with being a parent, teacher, advisor, psychiatrist, housekeeper, cleaner, travel guru, booking agent, nurse and general dogsbody on a permanent basis, oh and what if I didn't like someone for no good reason apart from they rub me up the wrong way - could I ever possibly get away with chucking them out just 'cos they irritate the hell out of me (probably not)?

I live in a town of cultural void-ness, I hesitate to go out while in a "mixed race" relationship, I don't go out anyway 'cos am permanently skint and even if I wasn't permanently skint I would still hesitate to go out since the choices round here are not exactly huge when you don't speak Afrikaans.

No matter how long I spend here, I will always be the outsider - only realised this when my patriotism for England during the Rugby World Cup final against South Africa went absolutely sky high and I got in a strop when we lost. How childish of me.

How rubbish is all of that. Obviously my frame of mind is up for a bit of a grumble without really having reason to grumble at all. I blame the rugby; have been miserable ever since the weekend!

Rugby poo.

Grrrr.

Swing low, sweet chariot!

Don't care how they carry the ball home... carry, jump, fly, kick.... as long as we win! Go EEEENNNNGGGLLLAAANNNNDDDD!

Am so in the wrong bloody country for this game!

Sweet chariot

Hurrah for England into the Rugby World Cup final - gotta love "the Boot"!

Gah!

F**king boers.

Dance for Peace

The owners of our backpackers are rather lovely... they bundled all staff and one guest into their bakkie (pronounced bucky) early on Friday 14th September morning and hoofed us all the way from Jeffrey's Bay to Worcester (pronounced with a "V"), an hour or so outside Cape Town for the Earthdance festival - a dance and trance party for peace with a "global prayer for peace" held at 1am on Sunday 16th September - timed with countries and cities all over the world - bloody noble excuse for raving it up all weekend, feeling the doof doof in my heart and setting free my inner hippie!

Too white

The problem where I'm living now is that it's just too damn white. I could be anywhere - UK, Australia, wherever but most of the time it really doesn't feel like Africa. I pity the tourists that just do the Garden Route. They are seeing rich, white South Africa. Nice, big houses, gorgeous landscapes, white folk in their big 4x4s and black folk on the street hanging around looking for work or a freebie. It just kinda misses the point of going to Africa in the first place. You don't visit to see a slice of how your life could be back home if only the climate was better, the country less populated/built up... or maybe you do... maybe that's why so many like Australia.

You leave the country with no further understanding of the different languages and tribes, no knowledge of traditional culture (apart from those grotesque "show villages" which are all fake, touristy but have the one bonus of adding employment to the area and making visitors feel safe) and discover next to nothing about the reality of life for the majority of the population. Gah!